


Smalltalk

by PFDiva



Category: Doctor Who, Homestuck, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Crossover, Gen, I can't believe there's already a tag for the Doctor and the Condesce, Silly, The Pandorica
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-04-05
Packaged: 2017-12-07 12:23:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/748465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PFDiva/pseuds/PFDiva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Martha and Rory discuss alien romance while the Doctor argues with R2D2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smalltalk

**Author's Note:**

> [Someone](http://whovian178.tumblr.com/post/44676618892/lanuria-accio-season-3-onlyamasterofevil) wanted fanfiction and I delivered. :3

"Well, I mean, it's positively ancient--"

"BEEP-BEEP WHIIIIIIIIIR!"

"No need to be rude about my TARDIS--old girl has held up perfectly well, and she saved your--"

"Whiirrr beep bip boooop."

"Yes, I know you're perfectly state-of-the-art and a marvel of engineering, just like her--"

"Boop boop."

"Yes, and I know you need to get back to your owner, will you STOP interrupting me?!"

Martha leans sideways slightly sideways to address the young guard who happened to be at this very large, decorative box in the middle of a museum.

The box looks bloody stupid, but the guard's rather good looking, in a simple sort of boy-next-door way.

He's trying to keep the Doctor from noticing him in the same way the Doctor tries to keep people who don't know him yet from noticing him.

By staying out of sight.

But Martha can recognize a Companion's longing for all the wonders being around the Doctor can bring.

It's why she noticed him peeking around the corner at all.

Fortunately for him, the Doctor is wholly absorbed in his conversation with the robot.

"Is he...talking to the robot?"

The young man (His tag says Pond) gives a slight nod.

"If it makes you feel better, I've seen worse."

"I believe it."

"No, I've literally seen worse.  He's much more attractive now than he will be."

Martha arches a brow at Pond.

He shrugs helplessly.

"Objectively speaking?"

"You aren't....?"  Martha makes an expressive gesture with her hand.

Pond groans, "Why do women always think I'm homosexual?"

"Oh.  Sorry."

"It's ok."

"Nothing wrong with it, of course."

"Of course."

"I really didn't mean anything by it."

"I know, just my wife thought the same thing for a while and now she's....in here.  Long story."

He jerks a thumb over his shoulder at the box and Martha doesn't ask, because long stories are usually also painful.

"Any other notable alien encounters?"

"Have you ever heard of a kismesis?"

"Not that I know of?"

"He has one."

"Is she pretty?"

"She's got great bloody horns."

"So no?"

“And a gods-awful amount of hair.”

“So yes?”

"She's an alien."

"So is Jack Harkness."

Pond gives Martha a confused frown.  She waves off his confusion.

"What's a kismesis?"

"It's like a lover, but with more stabbing."

"Someone stabbed him?"

"Will stab, I think."

"Which is supposed to make me feel better?"

"It was supposed to make US feel better."

"Did it?"

"Not really."

"Martha?  Martha, what are you doing over there?"

Pond gives her a brief, urgent look, and she returns to the Doctor's side post-haste.

"Nothing, nothing at all.  Are we ready to send this little guy home?"

"Weeell, first we have to find his owner's ship, only the ship doesn't actually belong to his owner, and he really wants to have a chat with the TARDIS, but I just think that'll fry his systems--"

"You have no idea what's going on," concludes Martha.

"...I have no idea what's going on.  But I WILL find out!"

They pass the placard for the great honking box and the Doctor chuckles like he's heard a funny joke.

"The Pandorica, indeed..."

Martha has no idea what a Pandorica is, but she spares a moment to wonder what will happen to Mr. Pond's wife inside of it.

Martha decides that if Pond and his wife can trust the Doctor, she can do the same.


End file.
